The kitchen is a highly stressed, intense and HOT environment....at least for me. I think a lot of people think culinary school is a cake walk (no pun intended) and I spend my days leisurely cooking a la Food Network. I'm actually going miles a minute, trying to stay on track, watching the chef demos, reading my recipe cards and mentally planning out what to do next and how....oh and I'm basically sweating for 6 hours. Not a pretty sight. I've been able to handle the fast pace and pressure so far, but today I worked without a partner on a labor intensive recipe and my normally cool, calm exterior cracked a bit. Maybe I was tired...or just not prepared enough...or having hormonal changes because it's that time of month...whatever it was or was not, I had a meltdown.
I'm not proud of this at all. In fact, I've never felt so unprofessional in my entire life...not even during my 2 years of working in finance. I hate all that this incident implies...that I can't handle pressure, that I'm reacting like a stereotypical woman when things go wrong, that I'm a girl! The restaurant industry is still predominantly male, contrary to normal belief that it's mostly women in the kitchen. Similar to finance, it's still very male and a place that I feel I have to prove that I am not female, but just as tough as one of the boys. I know I am being hard on myself, and it's okay to have a bad day, but it doesn't make today any less embarrassing and draining. I'm vowing to not let myself get into another situation where I am that stressed. I lived. I learned. And I'm moving on.
darlin' i'm sorry you felt that way. how exactly did you react when you were stressed in the kitchen? did it cause you to flub or just react very harshly? as someone who has known you for years, i have to say that you- my dear, are perfectly capable of any pressure situation and that you should never feel compelled to change yourselfReplyDelete
i cried like a GIRL.ReplyDelete